Jul 16, 2014
Why I Never Learn and Continue to Argue with Misogynists on the Internet
I never learn. I know that there are plenty of weird people on the internet, and most of the time, the person commenting on a blog, website, video is someone who is bigoted, racist, misogynist or all these things together and more. But I still can’t help it. There’s this itch in my brain telling me that I will be able to convince one person that the way they are acting, or thinking is not right, and that they should open their hearts, minds and stop insulting, hurting people. I never listen to the reason which says, these people will never change and the internet is their outlet where they can be cruel without suffering actual consequences. But do I listen? Of course I don’t. Beyond reason I continue to argue.
Something like a month or so ago in fact I found myself arguing with some people on a Youtube video of Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where they were promoting their new movie The Sex Tape. I’m fond of Segel because of his brilliant work as Marshall on How I Met Your Mother, and on Forgetting Sarah Marshall, to just mention a few, and I do like some of Diaz’ comedies, especially The Other Woman, which was more than I had expected it to be, really sweet and inspiring in relation to women’s friendship, rather than a revenge movie. They are both talented actors and whoever they are in person is none of my business, and I don’t want to comment here about some of their not so proud moments, and not so great movies. My big concern about this video as with most Jimmy Kimmel videos, was the first comments, and the mot liked comments below the video. I don’t know why, but Kimmel’s channel seems to attract a bigger percentage of losers that other late night hosts on Youtube, and these people haven’t learned jack from the Celebrities Read Mean Tweet Segment.
The very upvoted comments on top were about how Cameron Diaz was ugly, looked old, like a leather bag, had not aged well, and so on. These comments are not only hateful and misogynist but also ridiculous, considering how much in shape this woman is, especially considering she’s almost 42 years old. She doesn’t look her age at all. But even if she did, even if she had gained weight, had become less attractive, and had started to show her age, what gives these random people on the internet who would never in their lives have the chance to even speak to this woman let alone have sex with her, the right to comment on how she has aged? I see this on Youtube videos and on articles everywhere. There are so many hateful comments about women’s looks and age. But even when comments are meant as compliments, the amount of people commenting on what they would do sexually to these women, who may be actresses, journalists, or professionals of any kind on Youtube, for simply being attractive, is too high to count. The first comment you see on a media channel with a serious news journalist is about how attractive she is, and sometimes with use of derogatory language. Women are objectified by these men who don’t understand the harm that is done to these women who’s voice is not being heard, because they are focused on their looks. “I couldn’t pay attention to what she was saying because I was distracted by her looks” says some random virgin horny weirdo on the internet. The worst part is that these misogynist men who are upvoted find themselves online and find no criticism which they would normally face in real life, and their behavior is basically applauded. “Well men are perverts, so this is normal” somebody normalizes their behavior.
I take the burden so many times to argue with these people online, because I don’t want others to see on the comment section that such behavior is to be congratulated. I want to perpetrate my criticism on all those men who are sexually frustrated or simply pigs, who cannot legally express their opinion at the workplace or in their personal relationships or in public so they think they can find a safe place to express their ugly thoughts. I want to respond to each of these dirty, disgusting men who reduce these women on the media to objectified pieces of meat, fresh or old meat, slim or thick, and apparently pat themselves on the back about the way these women actors, comedians, doctors, journalists, scientists, sportspeople, are dissected in either sexual objects, or objects to be thrown out. I want to criticize all these creeps even though I know I’m not actually making a change. I just cannot stand by and watch, while the internet becomes a safe place for bullying of our gender.
Not to mention sites like 9gag where telling a woman to go the kitchen seems to be a very funny running joke, or sites where feminism is discussed and there’s always that one or more guys who say that women’s idea of feminism is not to pay at dinner, get alimony and get money from the divorce (which is ridiculous since apparently men profit more economically from the divorce), or the massive amount of guys who comment that a female comedian is not funny but they came there for the boobs, or looks. The problem is that these people have a reason to act and speak the way they act and speak: That reason is mainstream media. Is the media that objectifies and eviscerates women into pieces of meat and conditions its audience to view women merely as sexual objects. Women too have sexual desires, and yet we refrain from verbalizing all our sexual thoughts, so that we don’t objectify men who have other talents and other abilities they’d like to advertise. We live in a world where men are football players and women are cheerleaders in Football, and where still to this day, the woman pours the milk in most cereal commercials, while the male sits down and enjoys breakfast.
I don’t want to vilify men, especially men who are actual feminists and who are very thoughtful, kind and respectful with women. Clearly the sick perverted internet folk that want us to go back to the 1950s and serve them dinner and iron their shirts are not the majority. Despite that I don’t want their voice to be upvoted in the media and the comment section. Their language is a language of hate, a language that hurts all of us who have to encounter it day in and day out, all of us who already suffer with the insecurities regarding our looks, age, salary and unheard voice. Their language is a language of bullying and I invite all my sisters and brothers who are appalled by this language to find time in their life to shut them down, criticize them, unlike them, downvote them, flag them for spam for use of hate speech whenever they encounter them, because their bullying should be ostracized just as in the public, also online. There should be no place where these thoughts can be verbalized, apart from a shrink’s office where they can learn to deal with their issues and maybe hopefully grow as people. There should be no safe haven for mysogensits to deny women the chance to be heard first and checked out later. There should be no place where the comment that Cameron Diaz has not aged well is liked 123 times and that she’s an old leather bag liked 113 times. There should not be a safe haven for these disgusting people to verbalize their disgusting thoughts. And that is why I irrationally continue to argue with people on the internet. As if it was my mission in life, I don’t want to see women objectified, and I don’t want objectification of women by sickos to plant its flag online.